Are you tired of the hustle and bustle of modern suburban life? Sick of traffic, noise, and too many god damn coffee shops?
Have you ever wanted to live in Scarsdale... but for less? Much, much less? Then, I have come up with a genius plan for your own mental, social, physical, spiritual, and financial well-being.
1) The Amenities:
Scarsdale, Australia, has everything you need! There is a viral general store, a trendy post office, and... that's about it. But that means your taxes will be low!
2) The Dining Scene:
Top Notch. Who needs One Rare Italian Steakhouse when the general store sells meat pies? Who needs Jackie B's when the Scarsdale Hotel is also a bar? Come on, it's too good to be true!
3) The Commute:
Non-existent. There is nowhere to commute to, so much shorter than the less superior Scarsdale in New York.
4) The Community:
Very tightly-knit doesn't begin to describe it. With a population of 855 people, everyone knows everyone. You even get to know the local kangaroos!
5) The Nightlife:
The Scarsdale Hotel. Enough said.
6) The Verdict:
Just look at this amazing opportunity to say you live in Scarsdale, the richest town in America, and not have to live in America. No more American politics, food full of preservatives, and rude New Yorkers.
Hop your way over to Victoria, Australia, before they begin to open five coffee shops on one street, too.
Satire (Edition II)